MOVIE TRAILER REVIEWS: MARCH 2017

HEY GUYS!

WELCOME TO MY FIRST MOVIE TRAILERS REVIEW, SOMETHING THAT I’LL TRY TO DO MONTHLY DEPENDING ON IF THERE’S ANYTHING GOOD, AND IF I SAW ANYTHING.

LET’S GET IT STARTED!

SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING

I KIND OF LIKE THIS MOVIE IS GOING, BUT I’M STILL NOT COMPLETELY ON-BOARD WITH THE NEW SPIDEY, (CHECK OUT MY ANGRY REVIEW OF TRAILER #1 HERE), BUT THE TRAILER GIVES THE ENTIRE MOVIE AWAY…

WILL I SEE THIS MOVIE?: PROBABLY, JUST FOR THE SAKE OF SEEING A SPIDER-MAN/MARVEL MOVIE.

TRAILER RATING:

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PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES

LOOKS PROMISING AND FUNNY, I’VE ONLY SEEN MOVIES 1 & 3 HOWEVER, SO I’M A LITTLE LOST, CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME WHERE WILL AND ELIZABETH ARE, AND WHY IT’S THEIR CHILDREN HANGING OUT WITH CAPTAIN JACK?

WILL I SEE THIS MOVIE?: I PROBABLY WILL EVENTUALLY, BUT AS I SAID, I’VE ONLY SEEN TWO OF FIVE MOVIES, AND I DON’T HAVE A WAY TO WATCH ANY OF THE OTHERS.

TRAILER RATING: 

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JUSTICE LEAGUE

LOOKS SURPRISINGLY FUN AFTER THE DARK BATMAN V SUPERMAN, THE ONLY DOWNSIDE IS THAT ZACK SNYDER, THE SAME GUY THAT RUINED BvS IS DIRECTING, IT LOOKS LIKE A GOOD MOVIE THOUGH, AND THE WONDER WOMAN MOVIE LOOKS PRETTY GOOD TOO! (SEE BELOW)

WILL I SEE THIS MOVIE?: DEFINITELY, MOST LIKELY NOT IN THEATERS HOWEVER, DUE TO HOW CLOSE IT IS TO THOR: RAGNAROK AND STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI, BUT I WILL SEE IT AFTER IT RELEASES, MOST LIKELY HBO, OR IF I BUY IT ON AMAZON.

TRAILER RATING:

WONDER WOMAN

LOOKS LIKE A GOOD MOVIE SET IN THE WORLD WAR ERA, IT ALSO LOOKS PRETTY FUNNY, I’LL DEFINITELY HAVE TO CATCH UP ON WONDER WOMAN COMICS, HOWEVER, THIS IS ALSO THE FIRST FEMALE-LED SUPERHERO MOVIE THAT WILL ACTUALLY GET BIG AND BE MADE BY DC OR MARVEL THEMSELVES. (ELEKTRA, CATWOMAN ARE THE FIRST TWO, THEY BOMBED, AND CAPTAIN MARVEL DOESN’T COME OUT YET)

WILL I SEE THIS MOVIE?: LIKE JUSTICE LEAGUE, PROBABLY NOT UNTIL IT RELEASES

TRAILER RATING:

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DESPICABLE ME 3

LOOKS FUNNY,  BUT I THINK THE IDEA BEHIND DESPICABLE ME HAS GOTTEN OLD, PLUS, DID ANYONE LEARN ANYTHING FROM THE HORRIBLE MOVIE MINIONS? ANOTHER THING IS THAT IT’S JUST SEEMS LIKE THEY’RE RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS. ALSO TO NOTE THAT IT’S GOING UP AGAINST BOTH CARS 3 AND COCO. (SEE BELOW)

WILL I SEE THIS MOVIE?: MAYBE, PROBABLY, BUT IT’S DEFINITELY NOT ON MY ANTICIPATED MOVIES LIST.

TRAILER RATING:

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL.2

THOUGH I STILL HAVEN’T SEEN THE FIRST, THIS LOOKS LIKE A REALLY HAPPY, FUNNY, LIGHT-TONED MOVIE, THAT FOR SOME REASON, STAR-LORDS DAD IS EGO THE LIVING PLANET?.. EXCEPT EGO THE LIVING PLANET ISN’T A PLANET? THAT’S JUST MESSED UP, I THOUGHT HIS DAD WAS KING OF SPARTAX?… OH YEAH, THERE’S ALSO A LOT OF SIMILAR MOVIES COMING OUT THIS YEAR  xCOUGHx VALERIAN xCOUGHx.

WILL I SEE THIS MOVIE?: DEPENDS ON WHEN I SEE THE FIRST.

TRAILER RATING:

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THE BOSS BABY

POKING FUN AT BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, IT LOOKS FUNNY, ONLY PROBLEM, IT LOOKS PRETTY BORING ONCE YOU SEE THIS SCENE:

WILL I SEE THIS MOVIE?: I DON’T KNOW, I DON’T REALLY WANT TO.

TRAILER RATING:

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DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: THE LONG HAUL

AS A FAN OF THE BOOK, I HATE THIS, RE-CASTING A MOVIE SERIES THAT ALREADY SUCKED (EXCEPT RODRICK RULES), AND A SEEMINGLY UNFAITHFUL ADAPTATION AND VERY LOOSELY ADAPTED FROM IT’S SOURCE MATERIAL.

WILL I SEE THIS MOVIE?: IF IT COMES ON TV, MAYBE, BUT MOST LIKELY NOT.

TRAILER RATING: 

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DOCTOR WHO

I KNOW, I KNOW, THIS ISN’T A MOVIE TRAILER, BUT THEY ARE SHOWING THE SEASON PREMIERE ONE NIGHT ONLY IN SELECT THEATERS, SO TAKE THAT NON-WHOVIANS! ACTUALLY REALLY WANT SEE THIS NEXT SEASON, EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN’T SEEN 9, 10 IS THE SEND-OFF OF MY LEAST FAVORITE DOCTOR WITH LOTS OF CLASSIC STUFF IN IT, AND SURPRISINGLY LOOKS HAPPY, CONTRAST TO PETER CAPALDI’S OTHER SEASONS, ONLY DOWNSIDE IS THAT THE COMPANION BILL IS ANNOYING.

WILL I SEE THIS MOVIE TV SEASON?: HOPEFULLY!

TRAILER RATING:

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TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT

I WOULD EMBED THE TRAILER BUT IT HAS A BAD WORD IN IT, IF ANY OF THE ONES ABOVE DO, I DIDN’T REALIZE IT. I’LL LINK IT INSTEAD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTR-3WYURuQ P.S. YOU MAY HAVE TO SKIP A MINUTE IN DUE TO THE OTHER TEASERS COMBINED WITH THIS ONE.

NO, I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANY OF TRANSFORMERS MOVIES. DO I WANT TOO? NO. THIS TRAILER? SUCKED. AND WHY ON EARTH IS THEIR POLITICAL MESSAGING IN THIS, MORE SPECIFICALLY FEMINISM? I HAVE NO CLUE, AND I THOUGHT THAT TRANSFORMERS WAS A BOY THING! GOOD EFFECTS HOWEVER.

OH! DON’T WATCH THIS TRAILER AFTER JUST WATCHING GOTG VOL. 2 OR SPIDER-MAN!

WILL I SEE THIS MOVIE?: NO!

TRAILER RATING:

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COCO

DISNEY/PIXAR MOVIE LOOKS CONTROVERSIAL, WEIRD AND PROBABLY A MOVIE I WON’T SEE, I DON’T EVEN WANT TO SEE IT, AND WAIT… DID THEY GO DOUBLE DISNEY TREATMENT? THE PARENTS ARE DEAD… BUT THE SON/MAIN CHARACTER IS TOO?

WILL I SEE THIS MOVIE?: PROBABLY NOT.

TRAILER RATING: 

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VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS

EVER HEARD OF THIS ONE? ME NEITHER, BUT APPARENTLY IT’S BASED OFF OF A FRENCH SCI-FI COMIC CALLED VALERIAN AND LAURELINE, WHICH SUPPOSEDLY IS WHAT MIGHT HAVE INSPIRED PARTS OF STAR WARS, AND BASED OFF OF WHAT I SEE IN THE TRAILER, I’D SAY SO. BUT AS MUCH AS I DON’T WANT TO SAY IT, YOU KNOW THIS MOVIE WILL BOMB, MAYBE NOT IN FRANCE OR THE UK, BUT IN AMERICA, YOU JUST KNOW IT.

WILL I SEE THIS MOVIE?: MAYBE, MAYBE NOT.

TRAILER RATING: 

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THAT’S ART FROM THE COMIC.

THAT’S ALL, WHAT DID YOU THINK? WAS THERE ANY I MISSED, COMMENT BELOW!

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